It feels better when we’re in control, when we’re the one making the choices. Driving a car is a very different experience than riding in one.
There’s also a difference in thinking “this is happening to me,” instead of “I’m choosing to let this happen.”
Even less common is the thought “I’m choosing how I want to feel about this.”
Besides breathing and a handful of bodily functions, everything is a choice. We choose to put food in our bellies, we choose to drive to work in the morning. We even choose, sometimes, not to change things we don’t like.
Of course we can’t ignore the consequences, and they matter. But at the end of the day we’re still making the choices…or choosing not to.